Maria

OK, I admit it. I’ve slipped up lately. The routine of exercising with my kids has been side-tracked. They lost interest quickly and have gone on to other things. So I guess I sort of took my lead from them and ‘conveniently’ forgot to do the exercises as devoutly as I was doing them a few weeks back.

My husband is trying to jolly me on though, as he’s really into his core muscle group routine and his bad back has been behaving itself well as a result. I know he means well, but it all feels like added pressure on me. I was doing well for a while, but exercise was never really been part of my daily life in the past, and I guess I’m slipping into old ways again. Admitting to that can make me feel a bit down on myself and alone with the struggle, as others I hear about seem to stick with exercise longer than I ever do.

I played a favourite track in the kitchen the other day and my kids and I started dancing to it. That cheered me up a bit, but the dancing led to wet knickers. The wetness felt like a poke in the arm to remind me that I need to get back to the squeezes. A part of me knows this stuff, but another part of me seems to keep me from acting on it. Finding a way to fire myself up to do it - that’s the hard part.

Alyssa’s suggestions and tips for Maria

You need to be careful not to compare yourself with others who seem to be doing more exercise. Let them be an inspiration, not a stick to beat yourself with! The other issue I see is a bit of rebellion against your husband’s well-meaning encouragement. You must be sure to communicate to your husband how you’d like to be supported. The most important thing for you to do is to connect to what you want (to be completely leak free) and find an imperative for doing your pelvic floor exercises regularly. Try to picture yourself not having this problem any more. Or you could even picture a negative image of the consequences if you never get around to doing your exercises. For instance, you could link doing the exercises with being a healthy mother for your kids, or to feeling more carefree. Whatever works is fine and it is very individual. Maria, the key is for you to figure out what would ‘fire you up’ and to keep it at the forefront of your mind by putting a reminder on the fridge, by the bathroom mirror or as a screen saver, – or getting a friend to phone you every day for the first couple of weeks to see if you’ve done those exercises! Remember, you’re also getting good core fitness at the same time as helping your pelvic floor.